Felix and Phoebe

L: I can text you a bedtime story if you'd like
J: Please :)

L: Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Phoebe.  Phoebe lived in Colorado with her best friend named Felix who was a dolphin.

J: Oh wow. That seems like an inopportune state for a dolphin.

Yeah. It was a really rough time for Felix. But he loves Phoebe so much he put up with the horrendous climate. He put on a lot of lotion to keep his blubber from chapping. But he quite enjoyed the skiing during the winter time. He looked great in the fancy REI ski gear.  Everyone on the slopes loved him.

Except for a gang of ski pirates!  They didn't like dolphins on their slope. They thought it smelled too fishy. So whenever they saw Felix they would harass him and say how horrible of a skier he was, which really hurt Felix's feelings because he'd been practicing a lot.

So one day, Darren the head pirate came up with his peg leg skis and started bullying Felix. And finally Felix had enough! And Felix challenged Darren to a ski off!!!

Darren laughed a jolly old laugh and stuck out his hook hand in acceptance of Felix's challenge.

What Felix didn't realize was that Darren was a famous Paralympic skier (because peg leg and hook hand) for the country of Somalia. They were the only country that would claim the Pirates as their own.  So Felix and Darren went to the top of the rockiest Rocky Mountain to start their race.

The race started!
Down went Felix and Darren!
Neck and neck
They got half way down the hill when suddenly Felix's ski gave out and broke!
Darren was quickly gaining lead!!!
Felix was about to lose all hope when...
He realized....

He's a dolphin!

And can slide on his stomach, duh!
Felix went off a giant ledge and dropped in right next to Darren!  He had regained the speed he lost! There was only one more hill left to go! Who would win??

The crowds went wild.  The TV networks were broadcasting on ESPN.  The first pirate dolphin race of the century (there was a historical one back in early Egypt but that story is for another time).

Felix and Darren crossed the finish line! But who was first? Good thing they had instant replay on the ski track. The referees reviewed...

And it was Felix!!! By 1 inch of his giant nose he always hated.

YAY FELIX!!!

And that is the story of how Phoebe never appeared in this story ever again.

The end.

What we find funny

J: I got invited to beach blanket Babylon up in San Francisco!
L: I can't tell of that is a mild porno or a ward activity.

Roommate Olympics Scoring

making bed 1
flossing 1
listerine use 1
picking up clothes 1
amoeba kills 3
making it thru church activity positively 1 (per hour)
talking to a boy 1
writing a blog post 10

Tinder Extravaganza

The three weeks JP tried Tinder and failed...

Jenn's Angry Face...

Jenn is on a 14 day cruise around Asia without me...

What I did while Jenn has been gone (thus far):

Day 1-- Ate a Costco-sized bag of "Pretzel Crisps" for dinner because I was too lazy to boil water for pasta

Day 2-- Got asked at church how I was doing without Jenn and subsequently patted on the shoulder to express their condolences

Day 3-- Built a fort out of the boxes that needed to be recycled

Day 4--  Draped my laundry (underwear) all over the apartment to dry because I can't reach the buttons on the dryer to turn it on

Day 5-- Left dirty dishes in the sink

Day 6-- Drank my body weight in sparkling lime water

Day 7-- Made a life-size version of Jenn out of body pillows and sat next to it on the couch

Day 8-- Rented out Jenn's room for the night to a nice hobo on the street

Day 9-- Woke up late because I count on Jenn's shower times to be my secondary alarm system

Day 10-- Made friends with a guy in my chemistry lab

Day 11-- Read a chapter of "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg

Day 12-- Blog about how sad I am

Farewell to the Biebs

A couple months ago...Jenn came home with a surprise. It was a poster of her hero. So we put him up on the wall and gave him a caption to help us be more eco-friendly. Because if J. Biebs says something, then we will follow. He'll be our silver, he'll be our gold, as long as we looove him. 

BUT THEN! Terror struck at "Those Girls 133" apartment. Justin....felll....hard....for...the floor. And he was never really able to make it back up on our wall to grace us with his dashing lesbian looks. Jenn kindly put him in my bed on my return from Utah for Christmas. What a lovely surprise. Thank you Jenn.

Alas, Justin's time in our apartment came to an end when Jenn gave him up at a White Elephant gift party in exchange for some Macademia Nuts.

Farewell J. Biebs. We hope you find true love in KM's home.