L: I can text you a bedtime story if you'd like
J: Please :)
L: Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Phoebe. Phoebe lived in Colorado with her best friend named Felix who was a dolphin.
J: Oh wow. That seems like an inopportune state for a dolphin.
Yeah. It was a really rough time for Felix. But he loves Phoebe so much he put up with the horrendous climate. He put on a lot of lotion to keep his blubber from chapping. But he quite enjoyed the skiing during the winter time. He looked great in the fancy REI ski gear. Everyone on the slopes loved him.
Except for a gang of ski pirates! They didn't like dolphins on their slope. They thought it smelled too fishy. So whenever they saw Felix they would harass him and say how horrible of a skier he was, which really hurt Felix's feelings because he'd been practicing a lot.
So one day, Darren the head pirate came up with his peg leg skis and started bullying Felix. And finally Felix had enough! And Felix challenged Darren to a ski off!!!
Darren laughed a jolly old laugh and stuck out his hook hand in acceptance of Felix's challenge.
What Felix didn't realize was that Darren was a famous Paralympic skier (because peg leg and hook hand) for the country of Somalia. They were the only country that would claim the Pirates as their own. So Felix and Darren went to the top of the rockiest Rocky Mountain to start their race.
The race started!
Down went Felix and Darren!
Neck and neck
They got half way down the hill when suddenly Felix's ski gave out and broke!
Darren was quickly gaining lead!!!
Felix was about to lose all hope when...
He realized....
He's a dolphin!
And can slide on his stomach, duh!
Felix went off a giant ledge and dropped in right next to Darren! He had regained the speed he lost! There was only one more hill left to go! Who would win??
The crowds went wild. The TV networks were broadcasting on ESPN. The first pirate dolphin race of the century (there was a historical one back in early Egypt but that story is for another time).
Felix and Darren crossed the finish line! But who was first? Good thing they had instant replay on the ski track. The referees reviewed...
And it was Felix!!! By 1 inch of his giant nose he always hated.
YAY FELIX!!!
And that is the story of how Phoebe never appeared in this story ever again.
The end.
